If only I had used BioEnergetics.

I could be a happy, well-adjusted heterosexual by now, driving a Pontiac Grand Am and living in a nice aluminum-sided shoebox somewhere in Northeast Ohio. Not that there's anything wrong with discontinued rental-lot favorite Pontiacs, or post-World War II bungalows in Euclid for that matter, but you know...the world don't move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you, might not be right for some. Everybody's got a special kind of story. Everybody finds a way to shine. It don't matter that you got - not a lot - so what? They'll have theirs, you'll have yours, and I'll have mine.

And together, we'll be fine.

But some people insist you can change from being gay, to straight. Personally, I think that's a load of crap but watch the following videos before coming to your own conclusions.

Let me introduce you to "Dr." Richard Cohen, MA, of the International Healing Foundation, has written two books on that very subject. Personally, I can't imagine WHY anyone would want to change their sexual orientation, as I consider mine to be a cherished gift and not anything to be ashamed of in any way, shape or form. God help anyone who tries to convince me otherwise; the self-loathing of my teenage years still makes me shake my head and wonder how I coped with it on a daily basis. However, I must say I found Cohen's interview on the Daily Show to be quite enlightening:

Part I: Never mind...Comedy Central decided to pull the video. Those dadblamed doodooheaded effers.



And part II:



THANK YOU, COMEDY CENTRAL, FOR RUINING A PERFECTLY GOOD BLOG ENTRY.

As I was watching this, I laughed so hard, and so loud, my upstairs neighbor thunked her bedroom floor, which means "Chad, I'm getting ready for bed, so can you tone it down just a skosh?"

Sorry, Madeline. But you know how loud the Gays can be.

At any rate, I'm so convinced that people like Cohen and John Paulk, the famous "ex-gay" who was photographed hastily leaving a gay bar while he was chairman of the ex-gay group Exodus International, are so full of shit they actually believe the crap that spews forth from their mouths. What makes me mad about these people is they're preying on confused gay persons who are having problems accepting themselves for who they are, when it's these so-called "therapists" who have never come to terms with their homosexuality. It makes me absolutely want to throw up.

Unless, of course, I'm laughing at them.

So Cohen, Paulk, and their ilk (and don't get me started on this faggoty-ass tweaker, either) think they can change sexual orientations?

Don't make me put my hand on my hip.

:::UPDATE:::

Thanks to Adam, one of the most comfortably gay gays I've ever met, here is a clip from CNN where Cohen appears (thank you, CNN, for not throwing your lawyers around and demanding this be removed):


The part where he beat the pillow with a tennis racquet while screaming about his mother is hysterical, btw. What a screwed-up, neurotic little pootzmonkey.

For the record, when I was growing up, my father was not distant, my mother was not overbearing, and the most traumatic things I can think of happening to me are getting stitches, crashing my bike, Catholic school, putting our beloved old Dalmatian to sleep, and getting into fights after school on occasion. Now, I'm no psychologist, but I seriously doubt any of those contributed to me harboring a secret crush on Kirk Cameron when I was 16.