New Camera

Well, my old Sony digital camera finally expired and absolutely refuses to take another picture, even though it powers up and the zoom lens still works. So I've decided on a $950 Canon that will run close to $1200 by the time I get all the doodads I want with it since I'm rather serious about starting Chad Fox Photography.

When I first went in the store with my friend Chris A., a morbidly obese, hairy, and ill-mannered man with a head the size of a pumpkin (and I suspect his canyon-like buttcrack had the distinct whiff of fecal matter) ignored me for a few minutes before he looked up at me and said in a rather annoyed tone, "Do you need something?"

"Oh no, motherfucker, no you DIDN'T," was my first thought. I opened my mouth to release a rather terse reply when my friend Chris beat me to it.

"Yeah, we were interested in looking at some digital cameras. We realize you were busy, but a simple 'I'll be right with you' would be much preferrable to you ignoring us for a few minutes."

Mr. Fred Flintstone-head looked at us and said, "Yeah, will this guy just drove here 2 hours and I'm spending time with him right this second."

At this point, I turned on my heel and thought "Fuck this shit," and made a beeline for the door, fully intent on going to Costco or Best Buy and spending my $1200 where someone would actually talk to me when I walked in. Chris, a former courtroom attorney with extensive experience in litigation, continued to berate him for a few seconds as I banged the door open. You see, one of my biggest pet peeves, in addition to being swarmed by salespeople, is being ignored by salespeople when I walk into a store like that. It's one thing to be in a clothing store and not wanting to be bothered, but in a camera store when one walks up to a counter and attempts to make eye contact with a salesperson it's a different situation altogether. Every retail situation is different. A good salesperson will be able to read each individual situation and respond accordingly. Anyone lacking these skills has no business being a salesperson and instead should be snaking out shitplugs from sewer lines in West Oakland.

But I digress.

Walking back to the car, I decided to give Mr. Tons-O-Fuck Stinky Crack a piece of my mind, so I once again whirled around and headed straight back into the store. However, I was instantly distracted, for out of the corner of my eye I saw someone familiar.

Standing behind the counter was someone I've known since I was 16 years old, Jacki P. from Chesterland, Ohio. I haven't seen Jacki for at least 3 years (I saw her walking in the lower Haight one day), and before that it had been at least a year since I saw her on a CalTrain platform in Palo Alto (a random, surreal experience). Prior to that, the last time I saw her was at my going-away party 3 days before I left Cleveland for Air Force basic training.

I walked up to Jacki with a huge smile on my face. Her eyes flew wide open and she exclaimed, "Chad!" She ran from behind the counter and gave me a huge hug, where we squeezed each other tight. It was a rather happy reunion, and not only am I going to be hanging out with an old friend who I miss dearly (we've been through ALL SORTS of trouble together...you should have seen us when we were 18 and 19, respectively) but I'm getting the camera I need at a good price.

Not to mention Jacki is getting a pretty hefty commission from me.

Moral of the story: Don't be rude to Chad Fox.