I'm back.

I've been away for a while...I finally found a new apartment in North Beach about 4 blocks from the Transamerica Pyramid. I am really looking forward to living there...it's in a really hip neighborhood PLUS it has a fireplace.

Anyway, yesteday I posted something on Craigslist...it was a stupid, off the cuff response to someone's post. Someone was looking for their friend Brannan, and the title of their post was "Brannan, where are you?"

Naturally, my smart-ass response was "Right between Townsend and Bryant!" (Brannan is a street in SoMa here in SF) So I received the following e-mail:

Subj: re: Brannan where are you?
Date: 10/8/2003 8:37:46 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: zbranigan@volcanomail.com
To: [me]@aol.com

I have been trying to find my friend Brannan for many years, and I
have posted that message to craigslist MC numerous times.

Maybe you are not really aware of the purpose of the Missed
Connections board. It is for people who are trying to get in touch
with others with whom they have lost contact in some way or another.
Brannan was a dear friend of mine and I miss her very much and I have
tried in many different ways to find her.

In all of the times --at least twenty, over the years-- that I have
posted that message to MC, I have never seen it that someone was
motivated to make some kind of smartass remark. Not once.

Except for you. I'll bet that you are a real, emotionally stunted,
honest-to-god, flaming asshole.

###

Wow! Was I surprised! I immediately began composing a nasty, horrible reply to this obviously humorless lesbian. However, being raised a gentleman, I decided to go the high road. Here is my response:

Subj: RE: re: Brannan where are you?
Date: 10/8/2003 8:37:46 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: [me]@aol.com
To: zbranigan@volcanomail.com


Yikes!

Boy was I not expecting a message like that! In fact, I didn't put much thought into that post until your e-mail! Now, I *could* compose a really snarky reply to your [excessively and unnecessarily nasty] e-mail, but that's something a "real, emotionally stunted, honest-to-god flaming asshole" would do.

I will, however, fill you on a few things.

For one, I am fully aware of the intended purpose of the Missed Connections board. However, always an individual, I tend not to use things for their intended purposes. Rules are meant to be broken, as is apparent upon reading half the posts on Missed Connections. That is what makes it so entertaining and fun to read. If you look in Best of Craigslist you'll find many non-MC posts that are archived there because the Craigslist community placed them there. To be honest, as soon as I saw your Missed Connections post, I immediately thought, "Why, Brannan is right between Townsend and Bryant. That would be a funny thing to post." Had I known it would have conjured such bile in your soul and resulted in such harsh vitriol directed towards me, I would never have posted it. It was a glib remark made on the fly, and posted as such. It was not meant as a slam against you, or your friend Brannan. You should be aware of that.

Two, I am *not* a real, emotionally stunted, honest-to-god flaming asshole. Flaming homo maybe, but not an asshole. Although, after a bottle of Jagermeister and a few bumps of cocaine I can be a bit rambunctious, but as a rule I am a pretty mellow and friendly guy. My emotions are anything but stunted, and as far as being honest-to-god I don't think that applies to me since I am an atheist. If my post upset you, I apologize. However, I do not think it was necessary to call me a real, emotionally stunted, honest-to-god flaming asshole. It kind of cast a pall over my day, I don't think I deserved it, and made me realize just how much misdirected anger there is out there.

In closing, zbranigan, I wish you the best of luck in your life and finding your friend Brannan. I'm sure she was very special to you, otherwise you would not have sent such an e-mail as the one you did. Take a deep breath, and relax. Life is way too short to get upset over an off-the-cuff remark on Craigslist Missed Connections.

Sincerely,

[me]

PS...Your e-mail was very well-composed. I admire your spelling and syntax accuracy, and your writing style. Peace.

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My god...