passing on the torch

Today I decided to give Bob's Diner on Polk Street another try...I worked out extra hard and ran an extra mile, and decided to reward myself with a plate of biscuits with sausage gravy. You see, last time I ate at Bob's, the waitress simply walked up, dropped the plate of food onto the table from a height of 6 inches - splattering it a bit in the process - and walked away without a word. I had done nothing to provoke her, nor had I said anything more provocative than hello, thank you for the water, my food order, thank you when she brought my coffee, and may I have some more half and half please. Pretty benign stuff.

Taken aback and not quite sure how to handle this, I simply said, "Well, I didn't order a side of bitch with these biscuits."

She turned around, looked at me, and bristled...but after sizing me up, she figured I was just as big a bitch as she was. I was treated cordially, if a bit frosty, after that. I vowed never to return...until today.

Those biscuits and gravy are like crack, I swear...I was craving them so bad at the gym I was almost obsessing.

So today, I was sitting at the counter, savoring my biscuits, enjoying the fact that the woman serving me wasn't the one who dropped my food (she had table duty...that's why I picked the counter) when I heard a kid, probably no older than 10 or 11, start singing "Jingle Bells" behind me. However, he sang it the way we did back when I was that age. You know, "Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg!"

Only thing is, he didn't know the rest. He kept pausing, filling in the unknown lyrics with gibberish (it was kinda strange, actually) and his friend finally said, "How does the rest of it go?"

"I don't know," he replied. He started singing, and once again got stuck at "Robin laid an egg."

Now, there's no way I'm going to sit there and let those kids struggle with those classic Jingle Bell lyrics, so I turned around and said to them, "It goes like this: 'Bat-mobile lost its wheel and the Joker got away...HEY!'"

They stared at me for a second, mouths agape, and suddenly began laughing hysterically. "Yeah dude! That's it!" Bursting into instant harmony, they finished the song, then started it over again.

And again.

And again.

And...again.

I finished my biscuits, paid my bill, and left. The server who intentionally dropped my food last time glared at me as I walked out the door.

Hey...those kids had to learn the words sometime. Besides...I finally got my come-uppance.