validation.

everybody knows san francisco is famous for its freakishly-steep hills. if you're a tourist or just visiting from somewhere else in the bay area, these hills can seem a bit daunting, scary even. in fact, my mom kind of freaked out when i made a right hand turn (in a rented oldsmobile alero, no less) from one twisted, steep alleyway behind my apartment, going uphill, onto another twisted (in the opposite direction) and steep street, heading downhill. she was convinced the car was going to tip over.

yes, it's that steep. don't believe me? see for yourself, i leaned out of my bedroom window and snapped this 2 minutes ago:



after living here for oh, 8 years now, you just don't notice how crazy the landscape is around here, and the hills just become another obstacle to overcome anywhere you walk. basically, i can run up and down them all day long without breaking a sweat.

well, maybe a little, but they sure don't slow me down.

so today, i was climbing the extremely steep hyde street hill. i was moving at a good pace, my forehead a bit dewy but otherwise it wasn't much of a challenge. i'm used to the damn thing. shit, i own that motherfucker now. hear that, goddamn hyde street fucking hill? i fucking OWN you, biatch.

oh hell yeah.

sorry...the endorphin rushes i get walking up the hills make me loopy sometimes.

so anyway, i noticed two tourists standing at the top, about two blocks ahead, but didn't pay much attention to them. they're everywhere, constantly asking for directions, which i always give accurately and with a smile. i consider myself an ambassador of the city, and if i'm nice, they'll go home and tell their friends how nice people in san francisco are, and they'll come back and spend more money and the city will collect more taxes and then the damn streetlights will be maintained and the water mains repaired and the potholes filled. it's a total win-win situation.

continuing on, a block further, i noticed they were both staring at me. as i got to the top of the hill, i just smiled at them as i passed by. they looked like they could have been from, oh, iowa or something, a man and a woman about my parents' age, maybe a little younger. the woman said something to me, but because i was listening to music, i couldn't exactly make out what she said.

"sorry, didn't hear you," i said, still smiling as i plucked the buds out of my ears.

"i said, nice ass you've got there," she replied. turning to her husband, she said, "don't you think, honey?"

"yup. it's a nice one," he blurted out obediently, staring at the sidewalk, not quite comfortable with what he just said.

"how the hell did you just walk up that hill like that?" she pressed.

"well, you just get used to the hills after a while, i guess," i said, sheepishly.

"well god damn they've done wonders for your booty. honey, just look at his ass!"

her husband looked at me pleadingly, as if to say, "you know, i'm sure you're a nice guy, and my wife is a really nice gal, but please don't make me look at your ass or comment on it. please. from one dude to another."

"well, thank you very much. both me and my ass appreciate the comment," i said, really grinning by now. i continued on my way, but soon heard a click behind me. turning, i saw the woman had snapped a picture of my booty as i walked away. i looked at her, smiled, and then winked at her husband. his cheeks totally pinked as he abruptly examined the sidewalk again. i know, i know. i'm bad.

come to san francisco, see the sights, take pictures of ass.

sounds like a plan to me.