everybody knows san francisco is famous for its freakishly-steep hills. if you're a tourist or just visiting from somewhere else in the bay area, these hills can seem a bit daunting, scary even. in fact, my mom kind of freaked out when i made a right hand turn (in a rented oldsmobile alero, no less) from one twisted, steep alleyway behind my apartment, going uphill, onto another twisted (in the opposite direction) and steep street, heading downhill. she was convinced the car was going to tip over.

yes, it's that steep. don't believe me? see for yourself, i leaned out of my bedroom window and snapped this 2 minutes ago:

after living here for oh, 8 years now, you just don't notice how crazy the landscape is around here, and the hills just become another obstacle to overcome anywhere you walk. basically, i can run up and down them all day long without breaking a sweat.

well, maybe a little, but they sure don't slow me down.

so today, i was climbing the extremely steep hyde street hill. i was moving at a good pace, my forehead a bit dewy but otherwise it wasn't much of a challenge. i'm used to the damn thing. shit, i own that motherfucker now. hear that, goddamn hyde street fucking hill? i fucking OWN you, biatch.

oh hell yeah.

sorry...the endorphin rushes i get walking up the hills make me loopy sometimes.

so anyway, i noticed two tourists standing at the top, about two blocks ahead, but didn't pay much attention to them. they're everywhere, constantly asking for directions, which i always give accurately and with a smile. i consider myself an ambassador of the city, and if i'm nice, they'll go home and tell their friends how nice people in san francisco are, and they'll come back and spend more money and the city will collect more taxes and then the damn streetlights will be maintained and the water mains repaired and the potholes filled. it's a total win-win situation.

continuing on, a block further, i noticed they were both staring at me. as i got to the top of the hill, i just smiled at them as i passed by. they looked like they could have been from, oh, iowa or something, a man and a woman about my parents' age, maybe a little younger. the woman said something to me, but because i was listening to music, i couldn't exactly make out what she said.

"sorry, didn't hear you," i said, still smiling as i plucked the buds out of my ears.

"i said, nice ass you've got there," she replied. turning to her husband, she said, "don't you think, honey?"

"yup. it's a nice one," he blurted out obediently, staring at the sidewalk, not quite comfortable with what he just said.

"how the hell did you just walk up that hill like that?" she pressed.

"well, you just get used to the hills after a while, i guess," i said, sheepishly.

"well god damn they've done wonders for your booty. honey, just look at his ass!"

her husband looked at me pleadingly, as if to say, "you know, i'm sure you're a nice guy, and my wife is a really nice gal, but please don't make me look at your ass or comment on it. please. from one dude to another."

"well, thank you very much. both me and my ass appreciate the comment," i said, really grinning by now. i continued on my way, but soon heard a click behind me. turning, i saw the woman had snapped a picture of my booty as i walked away. i looked at her, smiled, and then winked at her husband. his cheeks totally pinked as he abruptly examined the sidewalk again. i know, i know. i'm bad.

come to san francisco, see the sights, take pictures of ass.

sounds like a plan to me.



At 16:47, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SS says, it sounds like you ran into Mrs SS, that's exactly the kind of crap she'd pull, 'cept she's in Phoenix right now, not San Francisco.

At 16:49, Blogger Chox said...

sounds like mrs. ss and i would really get along. you know i still admire her for the frying pan incident. you just can't make shit like that up. :-)

At 16:53, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SS again, check yur frickin e-mail.

At 17:17, Blogger jdubbs said...

Clearly, the entire world (or at least this entire blog... and, okay, my innermost desires) revolve around your ass. You should post photographs. And sell tickets.

At 18:48, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is it that the craziest shit happens to you? I mean, I have met some fuckin interesting people...but this one tops the cake. FUNNY! I would have been rolling. Anyway...thanks for the laugh!


At 18:52, Anonymous Anonymous said...

yeah, i think you should post pictures of your ass too. from one dude to another.



At 19:04, Blogger hidden said...

Damn ! Very cool. Since I am a total bottom, an ass really does nothing for me. OK, tmi ? I bet you do have a nice one though and would love to see the front side of it :)

The roads do look real windey there. Kinda like roads in the south except I see ya'lls are paved. Anyhow, still waitin for those pics.

At 20:00, Blogger jdubbs said...

POST the pics! POST the pics! POST the pics! See, the world is clambering for them...

Or you could just email them to me.

At 20:40, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've felt his ass recently, and it's nice and firm and bubbly. He was so bashful though. It was so cute. I think I made him uncomfortable because we were in the middle of the financial district at 4:30 in the afternoon and I was a little drunk from an office party. I'm glad I got to feel it! He's been working out! Post the ass pics already! No excuses!

At 22:33, Blogger Chox said...

okay guys, i am NOT posting a picture of my ass. this is not an ass blog.

i mean, it COULD be but it's not. for now, at least.

besides, i don't have any pictures of my ass, nor do i plan on taking any. however, if someone would like to take pictures of my ass, then by all means...but until then, this blog remains ass-free. ;-)

At 23:17, Blogger .Michelle. said...

I must say, this is one of the funniest things I've read in quite some time! Thanks for a great laugh.

-A Random Passerby

At 08:41, Blogger jdubbs said...

Did you really mean to call for volunteers to take pictures of your ass? Cuz if so, the line starts here. Though I don't believe this "I don't have any pictures of my ass" bs. I've seen those shots of you preening in front of the mirror, striking your very best Marky Mark pose.

Such a tease, that Chad Fox...

At 19:00, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck you, assboy! i'm gonna find you, push you onto the n judah and hold you down until the end of the line, and them i'm gonna rape you on the beach. and you're gonna have to do it all bareback style - unless you happen upon a semi-used condom while clawing through the sand. *sniff* i miss you.

-70's porno cop

At 19:05, Anonymous Anonymous said...

fuck you motherfucker. i was all tricked out in my uniform, a titty-flashin' hooker on my arm and some drunken cock show guy, and there's nothing here about me. look, i bet you don't even remember the time i stuck my finger up your hole when you were just innocently bathing buck nekkid in public.

At 20:17, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Вчера сборная России в Краснодаре одолела в отборочном матче чемпионата мира сборную Эстонии со счетом 4:0. Теперь наша команда занимает третье место в турнирной таблице и отстает от лидера – сборной Португалии – на три очка (по потерянным). Практически сразу от руководства команды посыпались комментарии, что никакого кризиса в футболе нет, а позор в Португалии был не более чем «щелчком по носу», как выразился Георгий Ярцев

At 20:57, Blogger Chox said...

i just translated that...it roughly translates into this:

Yesterday the combined team of Russia in Krasnodar has overcome in a selection match of the world championship combined team of Estonia with the account 4:0. Now our command takes the third place in the tournament table and lags behind the leader ? modular Portugal ? on three spots (on lost). Practically at once from a management of a command comments fell down, that no crisis in football is present, and the shame in Portugal was no more than « click on a nose » as George Jartsev was expressedthank you for your comment, whoever you are. :-)

At 22:22, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ن القوات الأميركية والمسلحين في مدينة الفلوجة، وزعمت هذه القوات أنها عثرت على مقر قيادة أتباع الزرقاوي في هذه المدينة. وبينما تستعد قوات مشتركة عراقية أميركية لمهاجمة مواقع المسلحين في الموصل، كانت أنحاء أخرى من العراق مسرحا لمواجهات وتفجيرات أوقعت 16 قتيلا عراقيا

At 22:35, Blogger Princess Potty Mouth said...

I am rather intrigues now... and I am in aww of this "ass" a picture must be taken for pure speculation... Dont you want others to marvel and be in aww of your oh so fine ass.... and if not.... well do it anyway goddammit... PEER PRESSURE

At 22:58, Blogger jdubbs said...

Mother-fuck! 18 comments and STILL no ass shots to wank off to? What's a pitful, dejected gay guy to do with himself on a Thursday night? I'm just about ready to give up on this sorry excuse for a blog. I see more ass on Desperate Housewives, and that show's all about chicks!

No one leaves 18 friggin comments on any of MY posts. Guess I should start talking about my ass more.

At 00:15, Blogger rich said...

hell, i'll take a picture of your ass! Now, bend over dammit!

At 05:19, Anonymous Anonymous said...

funny ....


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