use your inside voice, chad! your inside voice!

one of the risks i take while listening to my little mp3 player in public is the chance i might suddenly start singing along with the lyrics of whatever i'm listening to...literally, sometimes i just start abruptly singing and don't realize it, and the words come bursting out of my mouth, tourette's syndrome-style. when i'm by myself, it's no big deal. in fact, i've been known to walk down streets singing to my heart's content. however, i did get hit in the head with a beer can once while riding my bike up page street hill while listening to "two occasions" by the deele (a 1988 r&b smoothbooty classic) on my walkman. i was singing it as i climbed the (insanely steep, i might add) hill, which apparently annoyed a resident of that block.

hit my right in the head. bounced off my helmet, though. safety first!

so after that, i made a concious effort not to be belting out anything in public, especially while listening to the vocoderized talk box magic of "more bounce to the ounce" by zapp & roger on the 12th street BART platform in oakland while a large, large black woman was standing right behind me.

thank god she had a sense of humor.

so anyway, today i found myself jamming to a little mix of mp3s i had assembled on my little rca k@zoo player (i really don't like it, i'd really rather have an ipod but my old roommate gave it to me). now, don't laugh, but i was listening to "roni" by bobby brown (yeah yeah, i know. but i actually *liked* that album when i was 17).

so there i was, on the montgomery street platform, waiting for a train...any train...to take me to civic center station so i could catch the 19 to yoga class. i was jamming quietly to myself, minding my own business, mind wandering, when suddenly i belted out "this is what a real tenderoni likes to do for you!!!" before slamming my mouth shut. oops.

god dammit, i wasn't paying attention again. keep in mind this wasn't the first time this has happened. of course, dozens of people turned around to stare at me, more than a few of them with incredibly amused expressions on their faces.

i think i just need to tape my mouth shut when listening to r&b music in public.



At 14:23, Blogger Sandi said...

That's so weird. I just used that picture for a little collage that's part of a painting I did. It's a self-portrait I worked over. I made a collage into a gag over my mouth, representing all the things I would say to my friends at times, if they weren't my friends. That particular picture represents 'Please shut the fuck up.'

I often sing when wearing my headphones, too. I used to just sing while walking down the street when I was a kid. And dance with my umbrella, using it as a vaudeville-style cane.

At 14:36, Blogger Mitch said...

Ok, that's just completely funny!

At 21:24, Blogger Neil said...

jeez chad...i just had your roommate....ok he has a hot bod, but he is a touch selfish...just wanted to come in my mouth...hot, but could be better..oh well...

At 13:14, Blogger Chox said...

neil, living with him totally killed any sort of initial physical attraction, minimal as it was, i may have had towards him. he used to fart loudly everywhere in the apartment...including my bedroom...and also belch and talk with his mouth full. he once stuck his dick in my mouth after i hijacked his trick one night (HA!). i was half asleep in my bed, and he walked into my room and popped it in my mouth. i immediately spit it out, and he said, "happy birthday, babe!" and walked out.

i would have preferred an ipod, but i suppose it was the thought that counted. he *did* give me a delicious bottle of wine, though.

now, i adore him, i always will, i miss him terribly, and i am actually looking forward to spending some time with him next time i'm in new york, but i'd never pay money to have sex with him.

been there, done that. ;-) he's fun, though. i hope you had a good time.

At 07:43, Blogger Matthew said...

It's great that it was Bobby Brown (pre-Whitney and pre-crack (possibly)). It's great that you sang out loud. But the BEST is the fact that you sang the word "tenderoni" out loud.

I've been known to sing along with Michael Jackson to PYT on a few occasions, which also contains that most righteous word...


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