what are neighbors for, anyway?


someone was knocking on my apartment door at 11:30 PM, and my buzzer hadn't even sounded. i got up to investigate, looked through the peephole, and saw my 6'6" tall 17 year-old neighbor from across the hall standing outside my door. opening it, i said, "hey. what's up?"

"um, i'm really kind of embarassed here, and this is a little awkward, but i need to ask you something," he stammered.

"okay, go ahead," i replied, not quite sure what to expect. now, he may be 6'6" tall, but he probably weighs all of 150 pounds, and his face still looks so young he could pass for 14 except for his height. his long, shaggy hair was in a disarray, there were beads of sweat on his forehead, and he kept hitching up his baggy jeans that hung off his bony hips. he was also barefoot.

"um, do you have a condom?" he finally blurted out.

smiling, i replied, "of course i do. i'm glad you asked me. be right back." i went to my little box of unmentionables to see what i had. i initially grabbed some kimonos i grabbed out of a fishbowl at some bar, then thought about who i was giving them to and opted instead for some magnums.

yeah, yeah, i know. but i at least wanted him to be comfortable. that's why i also included a little pillow pack of ID lube with the 6 condoms i gave him.

"here you go, man," i said, handing them to him. "any time you need a condom but don't have one, don't hesitate to knock on my door. i don't care what time it is. but you should always have a box handy, though."

"yeah, i know, but i forgot to get some. plus i didn't know she'd be coming over."

"i figured that, so have fun."

"thanks, man," he grinned, darting across the hallway and disappearing behind his door.

i went back to bed, happy knowing he was getting some and hopefully preventing a pregnancy. not to mention the clap.



At 13:22, Anonymous Anonymous said...

chad, I always knew you are a kind soul, but, man! it is way annoying every time I try to post on your page I only manage to do it anonymously

:) monsoux

At 14:55, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AAAAAHHH! My neighbors only seem to ask me for milk, or sugar...things like that! I feel left out ;)


At 22:11, Blogger BMW said...

jeez, that kid is a bean pole the way you describe him.

your are totally Condom Man!

At 07:25, Blogger scUK said...

My neighbour is a nice young lesbian who only knocks on my door to ask me in for drinks with her and her girlfriend, which I have no intention of doing, thanks very much.


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