when driveby sassing backfires

So I was lying on the couch this afternoon, watching a stupid Pauly Shore movie on TBS. Daigle was hanging out with me as well, and to be honest, we were both too lazy to get up and change the channel on my TV. You see, there's no remote because it was manufactured in 1984, so you actually have to Get Up to change the goddamn channel on it. So that's my excuse for watching a Pauly Shore movie, and TBS for that matter.

My phone rang, and it was my friend Joey calling, laughing uncontrollably, seemingly with a lot of other people around him as well.

"CHAD FOX, YOU STUPID ONE-EYED ASSFUCKER!" he yelled.

"Hey, you obese thirtysomething too afraid to admit he's in his thirties," I answered.

"You cockeyed cocksucker," countered Joey.

"You fluffy blubbercunt," I replied.

"Where are you right now?" Joey inquired, still laughing.

"Lying on my couch. Why?"

"Wait, where are you?"

"North Beach."

"You're not at 16th and Market?"

"Um, no. I haven't left North Beach all day."

"So...that wasn't you at 16th and Market just now?"

"Nope. Don't tell me, you yelled something at whoever that was."

Joey turned away from the phone and said, "Guys, that wasn't him."

"I suspect you yelled 'Chad Fox sucks cocks' to some random guy who looks like me in the middle of a crowded intersection." He does that all the time.

"We slowed down and yelled 'CHAD FOX SUCKS COCKS!' No wonder he looked at us like we were crazy, then started laughing at us."

"Joey."

"Yeah?"

"Do you know what that makes you?"

"What, Chad?"

"A FUCKING RETARD! HA!"

"Fuck you, Chad Fox."

See what happens when you try to sass me? Daigle knows better than to sass me in public, because he knows I always get him back even worse than he originally dished it out to me. Ask him about the K-Ingleside incident that resulted in him having a broken ankle, and me making him dance on it at Badlands. My mama never played, and I don't either.

I love Joey, I really do. Bless his heart.

Even if he's a total fucking retard sometimes.