freeballing at the eagle

Beer bust was jam-packed...apparently, I wasn't the only one who wanted to go out and enjoy the sunshine and temperatures in the upper 50's. I had a really good time...ran into about 25 people I knew...old roommates, friends I hadn't seen in years, old tricks...you name it, they were all there. I guess everyone was so tired of being cooped up this past week with the rain and cold weather.

Towards the end of Beer Bust, one of the bartenders, Matty, asked me if I'd like to donate my underwear to the bar. Matty's cool...he's like an Amish leather boy. I've never seen a beard quite like his, at least on a gay guy living in San Francisco. Last time I saw a beard like that was in Tuscarawas County, Ohio. At any rate, it's impressive. It's amazing. And to be honest...it looks kinda hot on Matty. You don't see beards like that every day.

"Hey, what kind of underwear are you wearing?" asked Matty.

"Calvin Klein." Of course I was. I'm gay.

"Tightie whitie or boxers?"

"Tightie black briefs."

"Hot. Wanna donate them to the Eagle? I'll hang them up right over the bar."

"Um, I guess," I said, laughing.

"Cool...come into the office and you can give them to me there."

I followed Matty into the office, took off my shoes, stepped behind a desk (so modest I am) dropped trou, and removed my underwear. I kicked them over to him, then put my pants back on...freeballing like a muhfukka. While I put my jeans back on, Matty informed me there was a shot waiting for me outside as he returned to the bar.

"Whatever you want, it's yours," Matty informed me. I said I wanted tequila, so he poured me a shot. I looked up, and there was my underwear, stapled to the ceiling and hanging over the bar.

"Hey Matty!" slurred a drunk guy behind me. "Did ya sniff 'em first?"

Matty just smiled.

Hey...this makes the second bar where my underwear has been hanging off the ceiling. I used to have a pair of BVD's hanging on the Underwear Wall at Frankly Scarlett in Fort Walton Beach, but I hear it's a lesbian hangout today. I suspect they're not there anymore...it's been over 10 years anyway. I guess if you get enough drinks in me, I'll donate my underwear to a worthy cause.

Just don't try to touch my no-no parts. Those are off-limits to all but one certain individual. :-)



At 15:25, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No-no parts? NO-NO PARTS? BRILLIANT!!! Hahahahhahahaha!!

At 19:06, Blogger hidden said...

WOWSERS.....stripping off in front of him. I woulda attacked ya like a crazy person. One lucky person gets the no-no parts. Aaahhh. How sweet. Ain't that so nice. Hoping all is well stud your way. Its getting cold here in GA.

At 19:30, Blogger Michael said...

Man, you have all the fun. All I got for my weekend was a "prowler."

At 21:16, Blogger Knottyboy said...

So on top of being a shop-a-holic [replacing yo drawers] you're slowly becoming an booooooze hound. Great, left out again. I got a veritable butt load of undies here...where do I sign up? Wait? You got to be cute first don't ya? Ah man!

At 22:01, Blogger Jase said...

great post.. very cool beard ;)

At 23:03, Blogger krenneke said...

Life is a big party. Go out, have fun, strip naked, touch no-no parts, drink, go to gym, consume, and we'll all applause you...

At 23:04, Blogger krenneke said...

... and fuck Calvin Klein

At 06:54, Blogger Zeitzeuge said...

Hmmm, I only gave my underwear to a bartender one time about 10 years ago. He put them in his back pocket.

Next time wear cheap underwear to the bar. Save you giving away $25 underwear. :)

At 01:17, Blogger Chox said...

Oh krenneke. Life is not a party...life is a mystery. Everyone must stand alone. I hear you call my name. And it feels like...home.

And I'd never fuck Calvin Klein. He's not my type. I much prefer cheap Turkish underwear.

Crumpled in a heap on my bedroom floor.



At 12:51, Blogger Michael said...

This post gave me a hard on.

At 16:58, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Keep up the good work


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