i am so full

neon nipple a la northbeach, 2004 -- by chad

My god. I had no idea I could stuff that much food into me. For dinner tonight at Original Joe's, I started out with an enormous bowl of homemade minestrone soup, topped with a generous heaping of parmesan cheese and pepper, a half-loaf of fresh Italian bread with butter, and a huge plate of spaghetti with bolognese sauce and two gigantic meatballs, washed down with a grimy half-caraffe of house burgundy.

Now, keep in mind this was all served to me by a hunched-over, 75 year-old Italian guy with a thick accent, wearing a black tuxedo. On a brown, oval ceramic platter. At a fake-wood formica table in a brown naugahyde booth. With fake wood paneling and brass plates on the walls.

It. Was. Just. What. I. Needed.

At one point, I time-traveled. There was nothing in front of me that suggested it was 2005; there was a 1975 Buick Electra 225 parked out front, and a guy with mutton-chop sideburns and a plaid leisure suit, looking like a pimped-out Captain Kangaroo, was sitting in the booth in front of me. So, I decided...what the hell. It's not 2005. Oh, no. It's 1976. As I sat there eating my spaghetti, looking at Captain Pimparoo, in walks a woman who looked frighteningly, yet deliciously like Pam Grier in "Coffy" (1973).

Oh HELL yeah. Time traveling is fun.

And the Tenderloin is the best place to do it.

I couldn't eat it all, so when a homeless man came stumbling up to me and thrust a cup in my face on Ellis Street, asking for change, I instead handed him a bag filled with spaghetti, meatballs, bolognese sauce, and the other half of a loaf of Italian bread. He was ecstatic, and I was happy I didn't have to carry it around anymore.

I don't give spare change, but I will give food to a hungry man. I'm no better than he is, and if I have something I don't want that he needs...well, let's just say he's probably blissfully full right now. I should have bought him a small bottle of chianti to go with it.



At 20:15, Blogger Chris said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 01:19, Blogger Lee said...

LAWDY! "Coffy"! I vaguely recall seeing that poster way back when!

The dinner sounded wonderful and I'm now got this craving for minestrone...maybe tomorrow's dindin. I'm sure the homeless guy is pro'lly happy.

At 05:15, Blogger Recycled Soul said...

What a sweet guy, Chad. I did the same thing for Xmas this past year...I just drove in from LA, a 3 hour trek, and was rushing home to play with my new iPod. The Fresno offramps are notorious as homeless soapboxs, so instead of going home and playing with my toys, I made dinner for this guy and went and gave it to him.

I know it made him feel good, but it made me feel good too.

Love the photos dude!

At 10:06, Blogger Jon said...

Go you! Being Asian, I have a passion for carbs, mostly rice and noodles. Can't get enough- good thing for my metabolism. Fuck Dr Atkins and the low carb craze, most Americans are overweight not beause of carbs, but because they have no concept of portion size and exercise. Ok, got that rant out of my system.

I just read your last post, and am sorry to hear about the news. I'm not going to say anything cliche, like 'this will only make you stronger', or the like since I hate hearing that from my friends. It was almost a year ago when my ex and broke up- and it was way too dramatic for me to handle. Hugs!

At 11:21, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Love Original Joe's. Soooo fucking good. Now I want to go eat some Italian... preferably in his 20s. Meow!

At 17:30, Blogger Michael said...

I gave a taco from Jack in the Box to a homeless person once.

At 06:49, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing me some Coffy this morning. Good memories from that fabulous film . . . of course, on DVD, as I was not even a gay zygote during the original release!

Have been lurking for a while, thought I would say "Hi" from here at my desk, a mere five minutes from your family homestead in Communist Heights.


At 14:34, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Man - Coffee - only topped by Cleopatra Jones. Need to look for some dvd's now.

At 15:24, Blogger Mike said...

Coffy's wonderful of course, but I need give special thanks for Captain Pimparoo. Loved that description! He's going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

At 18:16, Blogger Lee said...

Addendum - Quite coincidently, I spotted the Coffey poster on the P.O.V. show which aired on the local PBS affiliate last night.


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