untitled, 2004 -- by chad
I'll just come right out and say it, as this is my blog, it's my party, and I'll cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you.
Chris F. (the boyfriend) and I will no longer be speaking, corresponding, or spending any time together. We came to that decision yesterday, shared our last glass of wine in front of a fire in the fireplace, had our last dance together, and parted ways. It's for the best.
Like Cree Summer and Lenny Kravitz sang:
How could the clouds tease us into thinking it might rain?
How could the need deceive us into thinking things might change?
I had a mean sleep over you.
And it hurts, hurts coming back to life.
It began with a smile. It deepened with a kiss. It ended with a tear. And after he left, as the fire faded away, so did my dreams of our future together, until there was nothing left but cold, dark ashes.
And so it goes.
In the meantime, I'm going to dive into my work, writing, photography, and try to mend the friendships I let fall by the wayside in the past year. I'm going to try to make 2005 the year I finally get hit my stride. It's about time, don't you think?
Now I'm heading over to Original Joe's in the Tenderloin right now for a big plate of spaghetti with meat sauce, a big glass of chianti, and a slab of fresh hot bread with lots and lots of butter, and today's San Francisco Chronicle. It's just a low-road joint where where humanity meets, in a dicey part of town. It's just the kind of unpretentious, down-to-earth place this hurting Cleveland boy needs to be right now.
Besides, it gives me an excuse to hang out in one of my favorite neighborhoods in the entire world. Hey...I'm from Cleveland. I love sketchy.
In the meantime, I have this bit of unfortunate news. There is a certain individual in Chicago, Illinois who has been harassing, threatening, and stalking me in a Cleveland-based online news forum. What started as a minor disagreement, then escalated into a pissing match, then a flame war, has now turned into an all-out crusade against me, and it's gone beyond petty and annoying and crossed into the surreal.
On the other hand, I have a stalker. Does this mean I've arrived?
I have so many other things to deal with right now...I so don't have the time OR energy for him.