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2.02.2005

i?feel,?like,?dookie


What?Could,?It,?Mean,?

This morning, for the first time in two days, I was finally able to pull myself out of bed. I've been sicker these past few days than I've been in the past 3 years. It's insane. I was supposed to go to the hospital yesterday, but none of my 415 friends have cars, or cars that move under their own power (Chris A.'s Mercedes 300E has a bum tranny). This meant I had to take the lovely 38 Geary out to the VA hospital which Was Just Not Going To Happen. I could have taken a cab, but that's a $60 round trip and I just don't want to spend that kind of money on a goddamn taxicab. Besides, I could barely make it to the bathroom, let alone walk out the front door. My fever at one point went to over 103, and I started hallucinating.

That wasn't fun. Especially when I coughed and this horrible, thick, nasty avocado-green stuff came bubbling out of my mouth into my hands. For a minute there, I had to laugh, because all I could think about was Linda Blair. So there I was, looking like hell, 3 am, eyes all puffy, temperature of 103 point something, and laughing. My voice was extremely hoarse, and I yelled out to nobody in particular, "Fuck meee! Fuck meeee!"

Hey, it was funny to me at the time. It's probably a good thing nobody else saw that. And I also just realized that last paragraph makes absolutely no sense to anyone who hasn't seen "The Exorcist".

Today, while still feeling like crap, I'm a bit stronger and I can actually walk around and get to the kitchen to make some tea. Now, I haven't eaten much in the past few days, and I've lost about 10 pounds, because I have an extremely high metabolism. As a result, I'm ravenously hungry right now, and all I can think about is Chick-fil-A. I would cut off one of my testicles for a Chick-fil-A sandwich. The closest one is in Fairfield, which is a 45 minute drive from here. If I was there I'd get at least ten. Probably eat every single one of them too.

As soon as I post this, I am going to get in the shower, make myself presentable, and get on the 38. So if you work anywhere in the vicinity of Montomery and Market streets in San Francisco and see a 6'2" guy who looks like he's about to fall over while waiting for the bus, be sure to poke me with a stick to see if I'm still alive.

UPDATE

Chris A. just called to tell me he's rented a Pontiac Bonneville and is going to drive me to the VA. God damn, Chris. You fucking rock. :-)

Gotta get in the shower now.

UPDATE II

My doctor told me my immune system of steel fought off most of the infection in a surprisingly short amount of time, but she gave me antibiotics and cough syrup (with coedine...yay) to take in the meantime. And Chris A., who complained about the Pontiac's styling and rental color (white), had very little to complain about when he stomped on the gas pedal. Those Bonnevilles can scoot, let me tell you.




The above photo was taken by me last October, on Broadway in Chinatown here in San Francisco. I originally posted it in my photoblog, with this text:

I saw this billboard today, and I still cannot figure out what the hell it's trying to tell me. As I was taking this picture, a woman stopped dead in her tracks and stared at me for about 30 seconds in complete silence, standing about a foot away from me.

I said "Hi," but she said nothing, continuing to stare at me.

I said, "What does this billboard mean?"

No response. Just a blank stare.

I said, "Injury,?Lawyers,?" in the hopes that maybe she spoke billboard gibberish.

Again, just a blank, silent stare. she eventually shuffled away.

Sometimes i think everyone in San Francisco is insane.

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15 Comments:

At 16:25, Blogger Ray said...

Probably caught a chill posing for that booty pic. I'm just sayin'
Great photo!

 
At 16:37, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well i just called the toll free number on the billboard and reached someone with 'northern california citizens against law suit abuse'. i'm still not any wiser on what the hell that billboard means though, as he said he wasn't familiar with it.

i tried.

glad you're feeling better. i was thinking the same thing as ray though. lol

jesse
ipsoblogo.com

 
At 20:33, Blogger Jase said...

eep. feel better.

 
At 01:48, Blogger Mariana said...

Oh, poor Chad...but I do envy your super-sonic metabolism, though, I wish I was like that.

 
At 01:50, Blogger Reese Stone said...

I am beyond scared of Linda Blair. *shudder*

 
At 02:10, Blogger lonukste said...

LOL See?what?you?Americans?have?done?to?our?language?! ;-)

 
At 05:16, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you ever see my big debut as Regan? LOL
( http://www.onewasjohnny.com/Archives6.htm#night )

I think we all end up having our Linda Blair moments at some point... Hope you're feeling better soon!
:)

 
At 08:14, Blogger Josie said...

I hope you feel better soon Chad, so glad you could still inject some humor despite the bad health.

Oh, and about that billboard, could it be(rephrased):

In jury?

(Culprit) Lawyers :Injuring jobs, housing and small business.

Doctor?

(Cure) Call 1800-.... Citizens against Lawsuit Abuse.

Anyway, remember to take good care of yourself.

 
At 13:13, Blogger Jon said...

Why isn't the BF doting over you? That's what they're for! ;)

 
At 13:18, Blogger Lulu said...

haha maybe that billboard just there to look the 'business' :S
Was that women who stared at you chinese?

 
At 13:34, Blogger krenneke said...

hmmm so you are strong enough to blog. don't forget someone is waiting for something. but for the next week ...

i could cook you some soup, good for sick people :)

 
At 18:53, Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

I was just hoping for another ass pic.

 
At 20:13, Blogger Knottyboy said...

First comment is directed to my sista in crime...Bees Knees gay ass pics are for gay men! OK? Back off hunnie or I'll be forced to use my powers for not so goodliness.

Next I'm reading your post and I can't make it past a Mercedes having a "bum tranny". Now what is that exactly? I keep picturing some poor guy down on his luck in the street begging for lipstick.

The goog you expelled is called montequilla de pulminaria for those of you who don't speak the Spanish that's lung butter.

Now bubala many things can be done to testicles. Oil for food...YES, ball for a sandwich...NO. And I do mean noooo.

Get well real soon. Here's to codeine induced hallucinations Woo HOO!
k

 
At 22:00, Blogger Ms Bees Knees said...

OMG knottyboy, that made me laugh so hard just now. What is it with me? Why do I love the gays so??? It must be that whole unattainable thing, I'm forever doomed to settle for hag status!

 
At 22:58, Blogger rich said...

get well soon kiddo.

 

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